You Are Not Your Mind

A person spends their entire life listening to their mind, heeding its thoughts.

A person may, for example, hear a rumour being spread about them. Before they knew of this rumour, there was nothing. But upon becoming aware of it, their mind sent them an instruction.

Their mind tells them to think such and such about this rumour. To feel this and that. And the person, like the obedient slave they are, follows the instruction of their mind.

Others have before noted my seeming lack of emotion to events that ‘should’ incite certain feelings. They will call it an oddity.

When such things are said, I cannot help but think: “Is the absurdity not the fact that you kowtow to all the whims of your mind? That your mind tells you something, and you simply follow it?”

None of this is to say that surrendering your life to your mind is ‘bad.’ None of this is to say that the sting of an insult reveals a person as ‘weak.’ ‘Good’ and ‘bad’ are just abstractions.

Only unreserved observation of one’s own life is of any value. And what I have observed is this: A life spent cyclically heeding the thoughts of the mind is the most treacherous existence imaginable.

And this is exactly how everyone lives their lives. This is exactly how I lived my life.

Today, as I lay with my back against the floor, middling between the state of wakefulness and sleep, something struck me.

Is everything not thought?

It seems so. It seems every moment of my existence is nothing more than thought. Nothing more than what my mind tells me is the case.

We spend our lives trying to influence the thoughts we experience. We think eating healthy will translate into better thoughts. We think following a certain morning routine will set us up for a day of good thoughts. We think meditating will metamorphose our consciousness over time.

Are these things totally ineffectual? Probably not. People look at my daily routine — my eating, sleeping, and exercise arrangements — and struggle to believe it: I have sought to optimise all that I possibly can. I don’t believe in ‘discipline’ or being ‘proactive’: One only needs to practice such things if they are trying to do something they, fundamentally, don’t want to do.

If you slipped off a boat and began drowning in the sea, would you need ‘motivation’ or ‘discipline’ to try to swim back up to the surface? No. You’d flail, kick, and do whatever you could to avoid drowning.

And make no mistake: We are all drowning. Only a rare few will admit this because the masses have anaesthetised themselves. Again, there is nothing ‘wrong’ with seeking distractions from your existence. It is just that they never last.

Only, if only, a permanent high could be found. Only, if only, the effects of alcohol, companionship, or appreciation could last.

But they don’t. Even optimising your biology and lifestyle won’t free you from your malign mind. But, of course, don’t believe me. Run your own experiments.

Our entire day is spent heeding the chatterings of the mind.

I must say that, as I lay on my back middling between the state of wakefulness and sleep, something struck me.

I don’t need to listen to it. You don’t need to listen to it.

Let the mind chatter all it wants.

You are your mind, but, you don’t have to be.

No one can ‘help’ you. You are all there is. And, if only you knew: Your entire life rests in the palm of your hand. Total control — it can be totally yours.

As I lay on my back middling between the state of wakefulness and sleep, something scared me.

Life can be whatever you wish. There is no need to go anywhere.

It is scary to be so directionless in the jungle. But one cannot help but hear freedom calling your name in the distance.