Being Normal: The Act of Your Wasting Life

The joke from the speech wasn’t funny but everyone else is laughing… so you will too.

Did you notice that? That twinge of discomfort as you forced yourself to do something unnatural and insincere?

Take any domain in life and you will observe the phenomenon of ‘normal.’

The normal things to talk about at a party. The normal hobbies to have. The normal jobs to work. The normal things to eat. The normal age to find a partner.

Normal. Normal. Normal.

Why?

Humans like to copy other humans. How does the saying go?

“There’s safety in numbers.”

There seem to be other good reasons for all this normality. First, and perhaps foremost, what’s the alternative? Who wants to be the weirdo?

When polite chit-chat is being made in the canteen, what are you going to do? You don’t really care about the weekend football. You don’t really care about that new TV show. But, so what? Are you really going to test the waters by opening a conversation on something that really matters? Something personal?

You dare not.

But why? Why won’t you do things other will consider weird?

Suppose you take little-to-no interest in fashion. You find a top and a pair of bottoms that fulfil your clothing needs. You buy several of these tops and bottoms and wear the same thing everyday.

Now, because some famous CEOs have normalised this to a degree, you might find acceptance in certain circles. But, to most, you’re just that weird person that wears the same thing everyday.

Here’s some sound advice society will give you: Just vaguely do what others are doing.

How does the saying go?

“There’s safety in numbers.”

Let’s not kid ourselves. There’s a real pain that comes with being the odd one out. Perhaps you were the only the person of your race in your class. Perhaps you couldn’t or didn’t want to dress like your peers. Perhaps when everyone else was finding girlfriends and boyfriends, you remained companionless.

Who wants to be the person that almost no one can find relatable? Who wants to be the unanimously-regarded weirdo?

What a lonely person to be.

Who, in their right mind, wants to be that person?

Not you. You must not. You cannot.

If those are the trainer people are wearing nowadays, then you, too, will buy them.

If that’s the TV show everyone is talking about lunch, then you, too, will start watching it.

If these are the jobs and internships all your peers are applying, then you, too will look into them.

Check. Check. Check.

Have you ticked all the boxes on the list?

Now look at me! I fit right in! I’ve got my stable normal job that lets me afford a house that’s good for my age, and I get to come home to my nice and normal partner.

I might not be special, but who says I need to be? Society thinks I’m normal and sane, and I’m happy with my life. So, what’s there to complain about? What’s wrong with my normal, cookie-cutter existence?

Nothing if that’s how you really feel. If all this normality has built you the life you really want, then of course there’s nothing to complain about.

But who actually wants normal?

I’ve discovered something fascinating about human beings.

No one really wants normality in anything. But most are too scared of being odd. The result? Most opt for the pain that comes with being normal rather than the pain that comes with being abnormal.

And that’s alright: You get to pick your poison.

But, if you ask me, picking normality is the loser’s game. Your boundaries, well, they’re bounded. And they bind you to a life of copying whatever Tom, Dick, and Harry are doing because you’re just too intimidated by the prospect of going against the grain.

That being said, being the weirdo isn’t all that easy. In fact, you could say it’s a lot harder. Even if you tough out the ridicule and the remarks, you find yourself in lonely waters. You look left and right but see no one else. The only ship in this part of the ocean is your own.

But for you, my dear lonely sailor, lies a life worth living.

For you, it is not worth laughing at the joke just because everyone else is. For you, it is not worth making casual chit-chat at the pub after work on Friday’s. Yes, everyone else is going; yes, everyone else is doing x, y, and z, but everyone else is… everyone else.

And you… are you.

For you, there is no safety in numbers. Rather, only danger lies in living a normal life: A life of beating down your honest instincts, creative flair, and unique talents.

Most people have spent so much time contorting every part of themselves in order to live inside the mould, they have forgotten a world exists outside of it.

A life where you work more than just something you call a ‘job.’ A life where your relationships are more than just trying to ‘work around each other.’ A life where you aren’t just chasing the next carrot society puts in front of you.

What sort of life even is this? We are told about things like ‘work-life balance,’ ‘the need to compromise,’ and ‘realistic expectations.’

Why? Why heed any of this nonsense? What are you trying to play safe with? Your life? Did you forget that you’re going to die?

What are you going to think about in your last days? About how amazing it was to play it safe? How brilliantly you pleased all those people? How nice it was for others to approve your way of life?

To live according to the norm is to not live at all. Why waste this one life?

The road you yourself forge is the only one worth walking down. It is the only one that will take you anywhere real. It is to unleash the wild freedom you didn’t realise you had.

An explorer’s life. An artist’s life. A writer’s life. The life you actually want to live.

A real life.

The choice has always been yours:

The pain of normality — or, the the pain of abnormality.